picking myself apart

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i tore off a piece of me
and held it up to the light
examined it
found fault in it
cried

i ripped off some more of me
squeezed it between
two panes of glass
placed it under the microscope
adjusted the focus
and sighed

i tore holes in myself
poked at myself
unstitched myself
bare

until there was nothing
left of me
but a big mess over
there

and then
there was nothing to do
but to start

picking myself up
after picking myself
apart