Thoughtfulness: the joy of Christmas

Too often Christmas day and the Christmas season goes by so quickly. Disappears in a blur, so fast you can’t get hold of it or its true meaning as we become lost in a flurry of get togethers, gift shopping, cooking and drinking. And when its over, too often the words ‘thank goodness that’s done and dusted’ are said. Too often Christmas feels like hard work.

It seems like every year, more and more people hate Christmas. They have lost the joy. And they aren’t shy about sharing it. I’ve heard it said a lot this year. And it isn’t Christmas per se that they dislike, but what Christmas has become. They don’t enjoy the rush of it all. They don’t enjoy the pressure. The expectations of having to catch up ‘before Christmas’ with all the people you have barely seen all year. And trying to achieve this impossible feat as you try and wind up everything you need, at work and at home, as the year comes hurtling to a close. Almost like there is going to be an apocalypse on Christmas day and you won’t ever be able to see each other again, such is the urgency of these get togethers.

For some, Christmas has been overtaken by obligation, rules and gimmicks. The obligation to sit in the pressure cooker of what Christmas lunch or dinner can be; with family tensions served as one of the many sides accompanying the roast of the day. Of juggling place names at the table to ensure enough distance between extended family who don’t see eye to eye. Of bringing the designated dish. Of following the many rules, which have destroyed the art of gift giving: Kris Kringle, Secret Santa, Nasty Santa and more. Because somehow nasty has made its way to the Christmas table, warmed up and ready to be served, sitting beside the gravy.

Luckily for me, I have someone in our house who just adores Christmas. Loves it with all her heart. My teenage daughter makes sure the tree is up and decorated as early as possible in November. Respectfully waiting until the last family birthday has been celebrated, but immediately moving onto the Christmas tree the moment the clock turns over from that day. It is beautiful to watch and to experience it. Her love of Christmas grounds me in the joy of Christmas and what it is all about. A reminder not to get caught up in the ‘madness of Christmas’ or rather, to state it more accurately, the ‘madness of others’ during Christmas. To remember the joy of Christmas and to remember where the joy stems from: thoughtfulness.

The crowds in the shopping centre are hardly noticeable when Christmas shopping with her. The excitement of thinking of, and then finding, a thoughtful gift for each member of our family and friends, overrides any discomfort. Gifts, carefully considered. Gifts we know they will appreciate and enjoy. Coming home and wrapping them, writing the cards, choosing our words carefully, thoughtfully, with joy in our hearts. Because that is what Christmas is about.

And gifts aren’t always a present wrapped in paper and ribbon with a card attached. A gift can be service at Christmas; helping someone out at a time of need. Opening your home to them while they find their feet, or weeding their garden while they recover from illness. Even earnestly considering the menu for Christmas lunch or dinner is a gift, making sure there will be something for everyone to enjoy as you come together to celebrate friendship and family in whatever shape or form it takes in your life. A gift, based on being thoughtful of others. I was reminded of this earlier this week when my husband and I carefully selected the right piece of pork for Christmas dinner, quizzing the butcher to ensure we had enough pork and chicken to feed the right number of guests. Making sure it was the correct cut of meat for cooking in the barbecue and comparing techniques to get the crackle just right. As we were working out the head count so the butcher could work out how many grams of meat per person we needed to ensure we were purchasing enough for our catering needs, the fact my husband and I were not eating meat (yes, still on a plant-based diet and loving it) was revealed. The butcher reacted with surprise, ‘Wow, I think it is really lovely that even though you don’t eat meat, you are here today buying it for everyone else.’ she said. I was shocked at her reaction. I wouldn’t for a second dream of doing anything different. For my husband’s family, Christmas dinner always been about ham, pork and chicken. Regardless of us not eating meat, we are happy to buy and cook it for them this Christmas. And we bought that meat with joy in our hearts, knowing it was a thoughtful gift for our guests.

Because Christmas is about being thoughtful of others. That is what gifts signify. Gifts of all variations. Gifts as presents and gifts as service. Christmas is a time to hold some space for others in our hearts. To consider what they would like, or what they need. From Perfume to forgiveness and understanding, and everything in between.

Importantly, Christmas is also about being thoughtful of yourself. It is a time for you to choose how you do things. How you give gifts and how you receive them. How you deal with crowds and the madness of shopping centres. For you to choose how you deal with obligations and rules. It is a time to choose who you want to be with in the lead up and on the day, and how you want to spend time with them. And for you to choose how you perceive Christmas, what you focus on, what it means to you.

This Christmas I want to be with those who I love dearly, and those who love me. To thoughtfully spend time with them. To watch as they joyfully open their gifts, chosen with great care. To eat beautiful food together, prepared with love.

Thoughtful gifts under our Christmas tree, in my freezer and in my heart. That is what Christmas is about.