It's OK to grow while people are watching

In August last year, my mantra found me. Mantra with a capital M. As I said goodbye to BrandologyMama and hello to Curious Muse the knowledge of nine words (eight if you contract the ‘it is’) landed on my heart. And now I carry them deeply settled in my bones, in the fibre of my muscles, in the spaces between the web of my fascia, and in my breath. Carrying this knowledge with me into every new day and every welcomed night. Breathing them and speaking them into the world, for others to find and share.

A mantra is a truism. You know a truism has found you by the way it makes you and others feel. How you react to it. How others react to it. And so it is for this one.

‘It’s OK to grow while people are watching’.

Whenever I share this mantra with people I get the same reaction, I see them have a moment as it lands. As the realisation hits them. The words often receive a consistent response of wide eyes and ‘oh, that is so true!’ This is the power of truisms and why they honour their name. Somewhere deeply hidden in our unconscious, in our bodies, we know their truth. And when we say it out loud, we feel it. We have a visceral reaction to them. To their truth.

Knowing is only the beginning. It is what you do with the knowledge you hold, that really counts. Knowing something but not acting on it, happens more frequently than we would probably like to admit. We continue to do things we know are bad for us. We continue to avoid things we know will be good for us or perhaps stretch us. There is a whole gamut of research, theories, evidence and words spoken and written about this. About the role our unconscious and analytical mind plays to keep us safe. The role of fear and our survival instincts, thinking failure or looking stupid is a threat, a danger to protect us from. Keeping us comfortably on the couch, watching Netflix; chocolate and a glass of wine on the side table. Many words continue to be added to a mountain already published, so I won’t add to that here today.

What I will share, is how I have acted on this truism, my mantra: ‘It’s OK to grow while people are watching’ and what it has done for me. In the hope that you too may find something in my story and this mantra, to welcome the next new day as the birds sing your awakening, and the morning sunshine rests on your eyelids.

As someone who has spent over thirty years helping people write their story and create symbology around their artistry, to find their community and share what they have been called to offer in this life, I am acutely aware of the perceived power of the ‘big reveal’. The enticing excitement of making an entrance, walking into the world like a bride hidden away before she walks down the aisle, for all to ‘ooh and aah’ at the dress, the hair, the complete picture. The veiled entrance, with all the imperfections left behind, discarded on the floor where the creation happened. Or hidden, managed and locked away, a secret held between the lips of bridesmaids, mesmerised by the illusion of perfection.

This is what I knew. This is how I worked.

Gradually, over time, I became cognisant of the unexpected downside of creating in hiding, behind closed doors. The pressure of getting it right. The need for it to be absolute and complete. Being locked into whatever and wherever you landed. Mistakingly thinking the joy is in the destination, the end point. Robbing those around you of the joy of the journey, of the beauty of the climb, of the lessons in the struggles. And I realised that the way I worked with people and businesses to create their brand, was also the way I lived. The way many of us live.

I consciously decided to make a change, because although there is joy in the end creation, it is when we watch something grow, that we feel ourselves filled to our very edges with awe. Like watching the first steps of a small child. Witnessing someone navigate conscious and requited love for the first time. Watching time-lapse photography of a flower opening or a butterfly emerging from its cocoon. Being rewarded for our daily visits by the vegetables in our garden, watching as they change colour or expand in size. The flower itself is beautiful, but watching it bloom opens our hearts in ways that reminds us what it is to be truly human.

And in the garden of life. We will not grow much if we are not among others, if we cannot be seen. If others are not around to shade us, or encourage us to reach for the sun. We need each other as we grow, to fertilise our communal soil. To respond to the growth, so it changes direction, form or shape as needed. To remind each other of the gloriousness in the learnings, in the mistakes and in the courage to stand again after we have fallen.

This philosophy has given me comfort when introducing myself as a writer. As I say those words, they no longer catch in my throat. It has helped me to hear and work towards my calling in life, which I have bumped into at almost 50 years of age. To be a meditation teacher and bring the gift of meditation to people. It has given me the motivation to write what bubbles up from my toes, past my heart and into my fingertips. And to not only trust what comes out, but to also believe in how it comes out.

According to naturalist and poet Michael McCarthy: the experienced birder, Neil Morris, likens humans to birds moving through the landscape - ‘to see without being seen.’ McCarthy uses the example of watching people enter a square to illustrate this point. Observing that many people will unconsciously hover around the edges. Hanging around where it feels safe. Where they can see but are not exposed - as they would be in the middle of the square. To avoid being vulnerable. Avoid being seen.

Perhaps it is time for each of us to walk into the middle of that square. To be seen. Warts and all. In what ever stage of growth we are at, in relation to ourselves and also what we are called to do in life.

Holding this in my heart, I make sure I share my mantra with others. It doesn’t take much effort, it seems to naturally find its own way into conversations and situations. It is here to be heard.

I also consciously remind myself of my mantra when I am doing something new, or when I revisit something I did for the first time (like my first meditation recording). I use it to find compassion to see the beauty in what I was back then. And to find the courage to see the beauty of what I am now becoming. To be vulnerable and try something I haven’t before. To grow in the open spaces of the world. To be seen.

I say and live my mantra every day. My nerves twitch and light up with excitement.