What's the rush

Most of us are living a fast food version of life. We drive through and pick up our life order, scoff it down without thinking and wash it down with a fizzy drink (or two). A fast food meal of life, with all of its sugars to make it taste real good, and preservatives to make it last for a while. Maybe it is time for us to take some time. To slow cook our lives. To let it slowly take on the real flavours. To let it stew in its goodness. To savour it.

I used to think that older people were slow because they physically could not keep up. That their joints became stiff and they could not move so nimbly. They were not as active. They were not as fast. Not so quick to their feet. Their reactions, delayed. Yesterday, thinking about this I realised slowness was not something to be frightened of or to scoff at. Slowness was actually something to celebrate. And it was a choice, not a physical deterioration. I know this because, as I have gotten older, I have finally (and thankfully) made the active decision to slow down my life. I am not so much in a rush. And, to be perfectly honest, I have begun to wonder what the hell all the hurry is about?

I no longer try and squeeze a ridiculous amount into a day, a week or a weekend. I allow myself to take time, and in order to do so, it means I have to miss out on a few things. Make some hard decisions. When you are invited to two parties on the one weekend, on the same day, at similar times, you choose one. Particularly, as one is an hour and a half away. You have to choose, you cannot do both. Let me just say, my husband is very pleased I have finally come to this realisation. Many a time, I have arranged for us to drop in, travel for 2 hours, drop in, travel back 2 hours, then entertain people at home only to collapse at the end of the night, the day a blur.

I have burnt myself out. At work and socially. I have burnt the candle at both ends. I have pushed myself. Said yes to everything. Succumbed to the fear of missing out. I have been one of the best examples of a FOMO there is. And where has it got me? Emotionally spent. Unable to make decisions. Depressed. Frustrated. Lost. In tears.

There is always time to do things later. And if not. So what. You were clearly not meant to do it. I have recently found a level of comfort around this. Doing Blogtober and writing a blog post every night means I can’t give my meditation course extra attention. I can attend the weekly class. Do my homework. Read the books I need to. But I cannot do the extra I normally would do. I am OK with this. Writing a blog post every night means I cannot keep up with my Spanish lessons on Duolingo like I was previously. That I will fall behind. Loose my streaks, eek! But that is what sacrifice looks like. I sacrifice both these things to allow myself to experience Blogtober and to stretch myself as a writer. I am not throwing down a quick pre-made burger. With fries. And a coke. I am instead, nourishing myself on a slow cooked meal, made with love.

So what is the rush? Where has this fear of missing out come from? My guess, from our fear of death. From our loss of spirituality. If you do not believe in reincarnation, of multiple lifetimes, then you want to pack it all into this one life. If you don’t believe in an afterlife, then you want to do it in this before life. Before it is too late. It also comes from a overbearing ego. To much surface area. Not enough inside. The small us, becomes the big us. We want to do. Not be. We want to prove. Want to show. Instead of simply feel. Or see.

Ironically, rushing around means you miss out. Miss out on the richness of life. When you slow down, you might not do lots of things, but you do get to experience something soulfully. At a deeper level. So people, how about you slow down a little. Take some time to savour the moment. Look around you. Notice what is going on. Enjoy it. Don’t rush your life away. Hold that kiss, just that little bit longer. Savour that hug. Pause to watch what is going on around you. Feel the sunshine on your eyelids. The moment in your heart. Be with life. For a while.